Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize