If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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