But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
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