well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
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For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
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His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
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