Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Come on in and take your pants off
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