You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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