I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize