Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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