I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize