Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
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Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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