Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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