nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize