You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's not a walk of shame if you run
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize