man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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