youre lurking in front of me
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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