so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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