I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize