I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
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