I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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