You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
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after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
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Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
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