Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

did you get my message about your dog?

(1-248): View more from Michigan

no... is he ok?

(248): View more from Michigan

no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry

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(248): did you get my message about your dog? (1-248): no... is he ok? (248): no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry http://tfl.nu/keer

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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(402): Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES. http://tfl.nu/mubn

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(847): View more from Illinois

Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?

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(847): Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did? http://tfl.nu/wv87

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did

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(910): Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did http://tfl.nu/f390

Replies (14) Good night (3717) Bad night (561) Order T-Shirt
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(314): View more from Missouri

I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...

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(314): I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning... http://tfl.nu/4oxc

Replies (27) Good night (898) Bad night (4087) Order T-Shirt
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(914): View more from New York

Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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(914): Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore. http://tfl.nu/9xwr

Replies (44) Good night (3929) Bad night (1101) Order T-Shirt
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(917): View more from New York City

I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.

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(917): I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee. http://tfl.nu/dm1b

Replies (44) Good night (1560) Bad night (6573)
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(503): View more from Oregon

He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you

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(503): He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you http://tfl.nu/gy7n

Replies (11) Good night (1067) Bad night (2700) Order T-Shirt
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(503): View more from Oregon

I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?

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(503): I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!? http://tfl.nu/h2a2

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(216): View more from Ohio

I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair

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(216): I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair http://tfl.nu/q3gk

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(716): View more from New York

I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...

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(716): I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life... http://tfl.nu/ae71

Replies (5) Good night (736) Bad night (1269)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood

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(870): There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood http://tfl.nu/fo50

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.

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(717): You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep. http://tfl.nu/lypi

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(317): View more from Indiana

I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.

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(317): I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child. http://tfl.nu/h99a

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(775): View more from Nevada

Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.

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(775): Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program. http://tfl.nu/5e2w

Replies (1) Good night (522) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt

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