..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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