apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize