Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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