Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
My ATM looks so different sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize