You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
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Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
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He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
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