The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
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