Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize