You were right. It hurts to walk today.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize