Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Randomize
Follow @tfln