We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I am spending my child support on dildos
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize