Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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