apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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