Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
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I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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