It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
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he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
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Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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