Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
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you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
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This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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