nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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