and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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