I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize