Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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