i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
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Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize