Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
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