Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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