If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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