Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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