I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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