i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize