My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
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