I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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