Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize